Tuesday, October 18, 2011

"I'm good for nothing and nothing's good for me" (Week 22)

Well, week 22 has come and gone already. This week was an eventful one. Shamefully, this post is about the rude mood I've been in for a short while now. My mood swings have been completely erratic. I felt certifiably insane this week. I lose my patience over anything and everything. I've felt horrible for being so cranky towards the people I care about...especially my wonderful, patient, loving, should-be-declared-into-sainthood husband. Two words: poor Jason. He has been put on my emotional rollercoaster and continues to support me no matter how stupid the complaint. I've lost my temper and ranted about being hungry, being aggravated about the way someone asked what I was doing, and, shamefully, the list could go on. I consider myself to be a pretty patient individual, but these hormones have turned me into a monster. I've felt so guilty because I'm grateful every day to be pregnant for our beautiful little baby girl. However, one thing in particular sent me to the most shameful level of ridiculousness ever. We set up Elizabeth's bedroom set this past weekend. Her comforter looks beautiful, the furniture is amazing, and we only had one finishing touch left...to set up her musical mobile. And that's when Mom-to-be Zilla struck...the mobile looked great. My hubby went to wind it up and what happens? Nothing! That's right! Nothing happens! No sweet lullaby music...no movement...just silence. I just started ranting and complaining about Babies 'R Us and the fact that we were shipped something that didn't work which led to me jumping from one complaint to another. I sat down on the floor in her bedroom to try to collect myself. As I sat on the floor, I looked up at her bed and the picture of her paw paw(my dad) on her dresser and that's when it struck me. In a few months, I'm going to be the mother of an amazing little girl. The bed sitting in front of me will be the place where I lay her down to rest her tiny little head. I could actually see it all in my mind. I'm going to be rocking her to sleep, singing to her, and telling her bedtime stories. And I lost all desire to complain about anything. I've prayed a lot since then for these hormonal mood swings to slack off and, so far, it's been successful. So, I end this week in a great mood with positivity in my words and on my mind.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

"Hurry Hurry Feel This" - Week 21

Well, I am almost into week 22 of my pregnancy and realized I needed to hurry and write in my experiences from Week 21. This week has been a wonderfully interesting one with little Elizabeth in my tummy. Jason and I were sitting on the couch in our living room watching T.V. when she decided to make her presence known. I had just finished sipping on a yummy strawberry banana smoothie and all was right with the world. My tummy was full and the house was so nice and quiet. And that's when it happened...Little Miss Elizabeth Rose decided that she would kick her Mommy right in the gut. Yup, that's right. She kicked me so hard that it downright scared the hell out of me. My entire body lifted off of the couch and I let out a yelp. Jason looked over at me so concerned as to what was going on. He said, "Babe, are you alright?" I said, "Yeah, she just kicked me so hard that it scared me." It felt like I had been kicked in the middle of the tummy, only this kick was from the inside. After the initial shock, came the uproar of laughter. She had scared me so much that I jumped 3 feet off of the couch. And, being pregnant and carrying extra weight, this was no easy feat. But, on a more serious note, ever since I felt Elizabeth's first movements (they felt like flutters), I have been obsessed with feeling her. And now, she's strong enough(obviously) for Jason to feel her too. Words cannot describe how magical it was for him to place his hand on my tummy and to be able to feel her. His face just completely lit up with excitement. I am completely in love with watching him touch my tummy and for that smile to shine across his face for every movement she makes. Now, neither of us can get our hands off of her(in my tummy). Yes, this probably means that we'll snuggle and cuddle her until she's old enough to squirm out of our arms. I must say, before pregnancy, I could only imagine what it would feel like to have a tiny person moving around in your ever growing belly. Now I know. And, to be honest, it feels exactly the way I had imagined it...only better. Her hiccups and kicks naturally happen at the most inconvenient times (waking me up during the night), but I always welcome them. So,  these days, I've had one hand in my husband's and the other holding our daughter in my tummy.