Tuesday, October 18, 2011

"I'm good for nothing and nothing's good for me" (Week 22)

Well, week 22 has come and gone already. This week was an eventful one. Shamefully, this post is about the rude mood I've been in for a short while now. My mood swings have been completely erratic. I felt certifiably insane this week. I lose my patience over anything and everything. I've felt horrible for being so cranky towards the people I care about...especially my wonderful, patient, loving, should-be-declared-into-sainthood husband. Two words: poor Jason. He has been put on my emotional rollercoaster and continues to support me no matter how stupid the complaint. I've lost my temper and ranted about being hungry, being aggravated about the way someone asked what I was doing, and, shamefully, the list could go on. I consider myself to be a pretty patient individual, but these hormones have turned me into a monster. I've felt so guilty because I'm grateful every day to be pregnant for our beautiful little baby girl. However, one thing in particular sent me to the most shameful level of ridiculousness ever. We set up Elizabeth's bedroom set this past weekend. Her comforter looks beautiful, the furniture is amazing, and we only had one finishing touch left...to set up her musical mobile. And that's when Mom-to-be Zilla struck...the mobile looked great. My hubby went to wind it up and what happens? Nothing! That's right! Nothing happens! No sweet lullaby music...no movement...just silence. I just started ranting and complaining about Babies 'R Us and the fact that we were shipped something that didn't work which led to me jumping from one complaint to another. I sat down on the floor in her bedroom to try to collect myself. As I sat on the floor, I looked up at her bed and the picture of her paw paw(my dad) on her dresser and that's when it struck me. In a few months, I'm going to be the mother of an amazing little girl. The bed sitting in front of me will be the place where I lay her down to rest her tiny little head. I could actually see it all in my mind. I'm going to be rocking her to sleep, singing to her, and telling her bedtime stories. And I lost all desire to complain about anything. I've prayed a lot since then for these hormonal mood swings to slack off and, so far, it's been successful. So, I end this week in a great mood with positivity in my words and on my mind.

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